Literally.  I’ve been out of power now since 8:30 Saturday night.  It’s now Tuesday.  My house is ice-cold and fumbling around with a flashlight and a single candle just isn’t cutting it for me.  Between shovelling snow, cutting up tree branches and packing a bag like I’m going on vacation, just to find a hot shower, is wearing thin on me.  I’m a girl who needs power…

Yesterday I showered at Planet Fitness.  Since everyone is out of power I thought I’d get there early.   Slipping out of a warm bed into a cold house certainly motivated me to get out of the house quickly.  I’m a pro at packing, I do it all the time.  I get to the gym and there’s a line of 6 women in front of me waiting to shower.  Crap.  Being a morning person, I begin chattering away to everyone in line, only to get odd looks and grunts for even attempting to have a conversation at 6:00am.  OK, I’ll keep quiet.  Well that lasted about a minute when I decided to ask if everyone showering had hot water.  All of a sudden the place became alive when the women showering shouted the stats of their water temperatures.  HA!  I make a mental note of which voice came from the hottest shower.  By the time I was up to shower, it didn’t matter which shower I got.  Apparently all of them had dulled to luke warm.  I’m hearty, luke warm is like camping, right?  With water all over the floor, I make a gallant attempt to get into the shower without my bag touching the wet floor.  Success!  My bag is safe, but I dropped my towel, which proceeded to soak up the wet floor like a sponge!  Crap.  OK, I can figure something out, just get showered.  I can handle this luke warm temperature, I think to myself, as I lather up my hair with shampoo.  All of a sudden the water turns to ICE.  I’m in a state of shock and think this must be what the electric chair feels like when they pull the switch. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crap!  I have to rinse all this shampoo off, and I also have to condition my hair or I won’t be able to pull a comb through it.  Holding my breath, I brace myself.  Apparently I was screaming because I heard someone ask if I was OK.  Of course I’m not OK!  If I had nuts, I’d be freezing them off!  I turn off the water and reach for my towel.  Crap!  My friggen towel is soaked with floor scum water.  I wrap my head up in my sweatshirt and emerge from the shower stall only to be greeted by a million stares (oh, she must be the one who got the cold water shower…)  I rummage through my bag from something to dry off with.  It’s a choice between my underwear, bra, blouse for work or my socks.  Pissed off, someone taps me on the back and offers up an extra clean towel.  It was like the heavens opened up and the angels were singing… thank you!  Dried off and dressed, I return the damp towel to my savior and move on to the mirror section for the hair and makeup segment of this sh*t show.  HA!  I zero in on an empty area with an outlet for my dryer and curling iron.  I zoom in, set up, plug-in and …. nothing.  Crap!  The outlet doesn’t work.  I catch a glimpse of a girl grinning in the mirror.  Should I kill her or look for another outlet.  I opt for another outlet, but I make a mental note to get her later.  All done, off to work I go…  Call mom mid morning to make sure she is OK.  She’s crying, cold and miserable (storm or no storm).  I dash home, pick her up and take her to her sister’s where she will stay until the power comes back on.  Or, at least until I tell her the power has come back on (tee hee).

Get home, dark house, build a fire and look at my cell phone as my only connection to the outside world.  My son has a b/ball game which I can’t attend because I just built a fire.  It’s me and the cat, and the cat is looking at me like – what the hell?  The fire only really heats up about 2 feet in front of it.  Once you move past the fireplace, it’s freezing again.  Any calls?  Nope.  Add another log on the fire.  Doesn’t anyone want to talk to me about how awful it is without power?  Nope.  I start talking to the cat.  Yeah, I know.  Add another log on the fire.

Up early this morning, decide to shower at work.  Get there at 6:00am, no lines, two showers.  I turn one on and wait for hot water…. waiting… waiting… ahh, here it comes!  I get undressed, careful not to drop my towel and step in.  Ohh, a little hot, I turn it down and it seems to regulate a little.  Lather up with shampoo and I notice my skin is turning a bit red because the water is now SCOLDING! 

Crap!  I have to brave the temperature to rinse the shampoo.  UGHHHHHH I scream in pain as the top layer of scalpel skin burns off as the shampoo leaves my head.  I decide not to condition my hair, the hell with the comb.  I get out, burnt, panting and gasping for fresh air.  I whip open the curtain to a small crowd that has gathered waiting to shower.  Burning red and pissed off, I glare at the crowd and, without saying a word, I dare them to even look at me the wrong way.  Not even a peep, I gather up my stuff and take my red stinging, burnt ass into the next room to look for an outlet.  For a moment, I consider sticking my wet finger in it.  I look sunburnt in the mirror and remember I never used conditioner on my bird’s nest of a head.  Crap.  I manage a little make up and somehow get a pitch fork through my hair.  I muster through it all so I can start my day of work.

I want to open my fridge for cold food.  I want to walk into a room and flick a switch for lights.  I want the TV,  the stereo, the hairdryer, the curling iron.  I want the garage doors to open automatically.  I want to use my iPad, my cell phone, my clock radio.  I want to do laundry! I want to sew!  I want to cook!  I want to bake!  I want to wash the dishes!  I want to vacuum!  I want to crawl into bed without feeling like I’m sleeping between two cubes of ice!

I’m a girl who needs power!

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